There are many different tips, advices and strategies to improve our lives. Part of them we find very useful, while others don’t work at all. At least for us.

Very often I read many fantastic advices from different self-improvement, personal development, GTD or productivity masters and I’m getting frustrated when a lot of their tips don’t trigger. Is there something wrong with me? No, definitely not.

Each of us is unique. Each of us has different personality, life experiences, knowlegde, abilities, habits and so on. It shouldn’t be suprising, that different ideas turn us on, that we prefer different approaches. The next time, when you will try to improve your life with another hack and you will find it not working so well, try to act in opposite way. It might be more appealing to you.

photo credit: s-t-r-a-n-g-e

Below are my best five pairs of contrary strategies.

Small step vs. “full force”.

When you set a new goal, the first step is very important. It helps you to get involved into your new project and create a momentum that will put you further into next steps. I used to set this first step very small. Why? To accomplish it easily and relatively quickly. I like this tip, but sometimes, this small step is not the best option. Sometimes my goal is so important or achieving it is so desired by me, that I have extremely strong motivation and a lot of energy to work on it. I am fascinated about it. Then, I use a “full force” mode. I don’t create small steps, I don’t track everything. It’s waste of time. I act, right now! I do as much as possible. I commit a lot of time and energy; I use all my resources and skills. Focus is 100% on goal and on things I have to perform in order to accomplish. I must say, I love this “full force” state. There are no other worries, no distractions, progress is really amazing and a work becomes pure passion.

Focus on your best abilities and resources vs. improve your weak points.

Each of us has some great abilities and resources. Exploit them to maximum. This is for sure great strategy. Perform activities that you are strong at. But, is it worth to work on your weak points? Some people say, it is a waste of time, that it is not possible, to be good at everything. I agree, but sometimes it is very lucrative to work on your Achilles’ heel.

At secondary shool I had serious problems with physics. I was so angry at my teacher that I decided to show him I can master this science. I succeed. After secondary shool, I started computer science at Physics Department at university. This means that I had a lot of physics. I was very happy that I had beaten my weakness before. It helped me a lot at university. Now I love physics.

Always think about benefits you will gain from mastering a new skill. Imagine that you have already developed it. How would your life change? Is it easier now to go forward? Decision is up to you.

Help others vs. say “no”.

This opposition is really tough for me. I enjoy helping other people. No matter, if they are family, friends, co-workers, my kung-fu brothers and sisters or if they are from any on-line society.

Everybody needs to feel that he or she is useful. It is also nice to help others and hear a simple thank you, not to mention that very often you can expect to get the favour back.

Unfortunately, helping others consumes two of the most important resources - time and energy. You can’t always be at service for everybody, because you will not be able to work on your goals and perform your tasks. A lot of people will try to get help from you as often as it possible. If you help them once, they will ask you more and more times. Even if they can do their jobs without your help. Avoid them. Say ‘no’. Decline.

Try following approach, only for a week. Say that you are busy, that you have a lot of important tasks and you can’t help at the moment. But remember to be polite. When you get an e-mail with any request - delete it. If it was important, someone will send you another one. Focus only on executing your tasks and achieving your goals.

Compare your productivity and effectiveness while you test both approaches in a certain period of time. Evaluate props and cons. With some practise, you will knoq, when and whom you should help, and when to say that your services are not available at the moment.

Unclutterer vs clutterer.

Uncluttering is very popular and effective idea to organize your space. Recently I uncluttered my room, now it is very minimalist. It works great for me. But this is not a mandatory for everybody. Some people don’t need uncluttered workspace, house or electronic documents. They feel and work better when they are surrounded by tons of random things. It is possible that you are clutterer. Remember to ask yourself a question - is it your way or are you simply lazy?

Saving vs. spending.

Of course saving money is very important for personal finances. I like saving money. I can invest them and generate more money. It is a great strategy leading to financial success. But I also like spending a lot of money on different things. Both necessary and unnecessary. Is it bad? Not at all. All in all, you earn money to spend it.

Buying different things usually makes us happy. Being happy is in my opinion more important than being frugal. Of course, the best is to be happy and frugal simultaneously.
Another point is that, buying different things increases our comfort of life. Higher comfort of life means we are safer, happier, healthier and more creative, better motivated. Finally this may lead us to increasing our earnings. Sounds great but this also doesn’t work for everybody. For some people it is easier to live frugal and save money, other prefers to spend a lot while focusing on increasing income. I admit, I’m not white or black, here. I’m somewhere in the middle. I always try to save in ways that don’t decrease my comfort of life and I always try to increase my comfort of life in ways that don’t require high expenditure. This way appeals to me and what is more important, works pretty well.

Next time you will start incorporating a new idea into your life, remember to consider the opposite one. It is possible; the other way would work better for you.

Success very often means goals achievement. Therefore, our first step toward success is setting a goal.

Each day, we set different goals for ourselves. Sometimes they are important, sometimes not, part of them is long term, and part is short term. Finally, some goals we achieve, and some goals we don’t.

Many of our failures in achieving goals are because we simply set wrong goals for ourselves. Below tips help me setting my goals.

1. Define your reasons – Why do you want to achieve this goal? The more reasons you find for achieving it, the easier it would be. Or maybe there is no reason at all? Then drop this goal.
2. Define advantages – What is the positive output related with achievement of your goal? If you can’t find any, why to set such an unprofitable goal?
3. Find influences on other parts of life – Does achieving this goal influence other parts of your life? Is it positive influence or negative? What kind of influence would have success?
4. Review requirements – Are you able to achieve this goal? Do you have all abilities and knowledge necessary to do so? If not, postpone your goal and start developing what is required.
5. Estimate resources – Achieving a goal consumes resources – effort, time and/or money. Estimate how much resources you have to spend in order to achieve your goal.
6. Ask question: is it worth? – Compare profits coming from achievement of your goal with estimated resources you would have to invest. If your Return of Investment is below 0, consider throwing away this goal.
7. Set a reward – You are setting a goal, set also a reward. It will additionally boost your motivation.
8. Consider setting a deadline – For some people deadlines are useful, for some – deadlines generate only disturbing stress. There are goals where deadline are necessary and there are goals that don’t need deadline. What about your goal? Would deadline help you?
9. Taste success right now – Meditate, visualize. Imagine that you have already achieved your goal. How it feels like? Do you enjoy it? Was it worth?
10. Define your first step – I always define first step that is small and relatively easy to execute. Why? The answer is in the next tip.
11. Act now! – There is no time to waste. Start right now. You know what you have to do – perform first step. It is easy, but also very important. It will involve you into the process of your goal achieving. I always find it very motivating. After first step I get the momentum for another step and another one…while success is closer and closer to me.

This post is submitted to The Lifehack.org “Spread the love contest”. If you are also interested in taking a part in this contest, you can get more details by clicking into following link. Spread the love contest.

Successful people are able to develop strong, good relationships. Need some help with building a new one? Use the following advices.

Use the first name.
During the conversation, use the first name of the person you are relating to. It is probably the nicest sound for his or her ears. Use it quite often, but don’t exaggerate. It must fit naturally into talk.

Find common subject for conversations.
This one works really well. If you find the common subject, you are on a good path. The conversation goes into more relaxed, comfortable manner. You can discuss about it for a very long time, exchange your experiences, share emotions while building strong connection. You will always be able to use this subject to reestablish conversation, strengthen your relationship or rebuild it.

Smile.
Simple, obvious and effective. Relax and smile. If you smile, you are perceived as a positive person. If you are a positive person, other people would more likely build a relationship with you. Smile is also very ‘infectious’. You smile to other person, the other person usually responds with smile. When he or she is smiling, you are in positive mood (of course I think about natural smile). When you both are in positive mood, developing a relationship is much easier and more entertaining.

Talk about yourself.
It is especially good while you are establishing a relationship with shy or introvert person. You have to take a lead and do work for both of you. Try to focus on some easy and funny things from your life, best if packed with action and emotions. It can be your hobby, sport, movies or restaurant where you have recently eaten a great dish. Don’t go to deep into details. Observe your listener. You can’t make him or her yawning. From time to time, try to stimulate, by asking for opinion or advice.

Be honestly interested in that person.
This point looks like a contradiction to the previous one. It is depending on type of person you are relating to. Some people talk a lot and the only thing you have to do is to ‘trigger’ them and then listen, while other prefer to listen to you, what means you have to put more effort to ‘open’ them and make them talking. But this advice works almost in every situation. Stop talking about yourself and start asking questions. Be interested in person you are building relationship with. Remember that this is not a quiz show. Don’t ask tons of short questions, jumping from one subject to another. For instance, you can ask about passions. Honestly be interested in what your interlocutor has to say about it. People love to talk about things they like to do and everybody will appreciate if you are a good listener for their stories.

To gain wealth, you must spend less than you earn. This is the fundamental law of money.

I’ve learnt it on GetRichSlowly, a great blog about personal finance. The conclusion is obvious. To gain wealth faster, you have to spend less or earn more or both. As simple as this.

Have multiple sources of income.

Probably for most people, the only source of their income is regular job. When you are an employee, you trade your time for money. Time is very valuable resource and it is limited. You can’t work more than 24h per day and night. You earn only when you work. Another disadvantage is that your work usually has higher value than you earn for it. One reason are taxes, another is that your company or boss also want to earn on your work.

Better sources of income are different types of investments. You invest your money and in result you get more money. This is usually passive income. You earn even if you spend time with your family or read my blog. Unfortunatelly this is not so easy. If you want it as your only source of income, you already need a lot of money and good knowlegde in investments. Of course, if you are a poor investor, there is possibility that you will lose money.

The best solution is to have multiple sources of income. Obvious, again. Run your own bussiness, invest, freelance, write and sell a book, start a blog. Even if one source would fail to provide income, you have others. When you lose your job and you don’t have any other income sources, you have to react quickly. Quite often quick and desperate reactions have poor effects.

Do what you love, the money will follow.

I love this sentence. This is from title of Marsha Sinetar’s book.

When you dislike your job, you think about making money, not on quality of your work and value you provide. Or you think for most time about something absolutely not related to what you have to do. Your productivity is very low as well as you don’t feel this positive energy that will kick your motivation. These feelings are in your head when you wake up in the morning and remains for almost whole day. This is horrible. You must change it.

You have to start doing things you love. The money will follow.

There are hunders or more success stories in the internet, how people transit from work that they hate, to the situation where they earn on their passion. Don’t you want to follow their route?

If you love what you do and you can earn on your passion, then it’s great. You don’t have problems with motivation, procrastination, troubles with getting things done. You enjoy the time, while earning money.

It is very likely that you already know these ideas. They are very common and popular. Why? Because they are simple and they work.